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John Gottman, a relationship researcher, found that happy, stable relationships have a ``magic ratio of 5:1. That is, these couples had 5 (or more) positive interactions to every 1 negative interaction.
Gottman also discovered that in heterosexual relationships, men accepting influence from their wives was predictive of happy and stable marriages. Bob Levenson also discovered that humor was physiologically soothing and that empathy had a physiological substrate (in research with Dr. Anna Ruef), using the rating dial.
Gottman dubbed these, The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. They are Criticism, Defensiveness, Contempt and Stonewalling. While most relationships will have some of these, healthy relationships dont use them nearly as often and do more to repair them when they are used.
Gottmans 7 Principles 1) Sharing love maps. 2) Nurturing fondness and admiration. 3) Turning toward each other, instead of away. 4) Letting your partner influence you. 5) Solving your solvable problems. 6) Overcoming gridlock. 7) Creating shared meaning together.
John Gottman, are four destructive patterns of communication that can lead to the downfall of a relationship. These patterns, named after the biblical figures symbolizing destruction, are criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.
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