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[Music] thomas kelman conflict modes is a really useful model in helping us understand how we and others approach conflict the model is based on levels of cooperativeness and assertiveness its also about how much we focus on our own needs and then also about how we focus on the other persons needs the model identifies five typical approaches competing avoiding accommodating compromising and collaborating competing style is both assertive and uncooperative its a style which uses power to win and get your own way and ends in a win-lose situation its about saying i am right and you are wrong avoiding is not assertive nor is it cooperative it doesnt help you achieve your goals or anyone else achieve theirs and results in both parties losing out its a way of sidestepping or postponing handling a conflict accommodating is putting the needs of others ahead of your own its about sacrificing what your goals are for other people and ends in a lose-win situation is about saying youre rig