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Heres an idea. Every argument for pronouncing G-I-F is wrong. And thats OK. Recently, I was talking to someone. And I said oriented, as in lets get oriented. My interlocutor responding said orientated, which before you get all judgy and if were to treat the dictionary as an authority of some kind, orientated is an acceptable alternative to oriented. Our conversation lasted five minutes. Me saying oriented. He saying orientated. Neither of us acknowledging the difference. Both knowing exactly what the other meant. Just how like my girlfriend is English and says to-mah-to, but I say to-mat-to. And after many years, we continually decide to not call the whole thing off. (SINGING) Oh, lets call the whole thing off. Zero flame, calm civility. This is the dream that I have for zhaif-- gif-- jif. Today were going to talk about the G-I-F pronunciation debate. And how every argument for pronouncing it the way that you like, super flawed. But thats OK. First though, some oft requested