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do you still do pre-marital uh counseling I do it myself sometimes yes and so when you so when youve done that what are some of the things that you see are recurring issues that pop up that that seems to be the same thing no matter what the couple is this couple in January they dealt with the same thing and you find that as a recurring thing as culture has changed is there something thats identifiable that has been a consistent thing with couples all across the board youre not going Im going to give you three things but youre not going to like any of them oh gosh number one consistently across the board if theyre over 35 I find that theyre desperate and its desperation thats driving it really yes so and its usually the female in this case Its usually the female thats so desperate just to get somebody because I know what it is she is shes climbing the corporate ladder things are going well the only thing she cannot control and so shes trying now to do anything to get marr