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mr verse understand that a secure-based support is critical to the survivor of a relationship and many of us regardless of whether we have a secure own secure attachment style want our relationship partner to know that we love them and want them to be happy but not everyone is equally motivated to provide a secure best support for their relationship partner and not everyone has the ability and the tools to be a secure base what does it mean to be a secure base ing to john barbie the pioneer of attachment theory a secure base is one of being available ready to respond when called upon encourage and perhaps assist but to intervene actively only when clearly necessary this means that in order to be a secure base you have to be available responsive supportive and non-interfering part of being a stable secure base for an avoidant is understanding that when an avoidant withdraws it is not necessarily a sign that theyve lost interest stop loving you dont want relationship with you all that
