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However, as soon as you have both made the decision to go ahead with the separation or your living arrangements start to change, its important to tell your child as soon as possible. Children are very observant and as much as you might think they do not notice that things are different, they do.
Here are some immediate steps to take and things to start doing as soon as youve made your decision: 1) Gather Documents Keep Records. 2) Open a Separate Bank Account Create Your Own Budget. 3) List Property Other Assets. 4) Plan the Logistics of Your Exit. 5) Contact a Divorce Lawyer. 6) To Tell Your Spouse Or Not.
This can be done either by informal agreement or by making a written separation agreement - see heading Separating with a separation agreement. If you cant agree about children, money or housing, you might need to go to court to settle it. You should consult a family law solicitor.
How to Leave a Marriage with Children Discuss the main points with the kids together. Negotiate out of court when possible. Be open with your children. Create separate positive environments. Forgive each other.
remind them that both parents love them. be honest when talking about it, but keep in mind the childs age and understanding. avoid blame and dont share any negative feelings the adults have about each other. keep up routines, such as going to school and having specific mealtimes and bedtimes.
Reassure them that the decision was made independent of them. Give them the floor to ask questions to offer some closure. If your children take the news especially hard, you can look into individual or family counseling. Make yourself available to help your children deal with the separation.