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youre having an argument with your partner and you say youre a stupid person and youve always been a stupid person and as far as i can tell as far into the future as i can see youre going to remain a stupid person so what are they supposed to do what are they going to do when you say that theyre going to cry like if you mean it theyre going to get angry if you mean it and they dont like you very much and why is that well its like its its assault basically the only way really the only thing that you can do in a situation like that is walk away ignore it respond in kind or it degenerates into violence thats it because theres no discussion you havent left the person anywhere to go youve gone right to the top of their hierarchy and said everything about you is wrong and worse than that all the mechanisms that we could use to correct it wont work so those are fighting words so dont do that unless you want to have a fight so then you might say well what would you do instead a