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you say that there are four negative patterns that can predict divorce and I think this is really critical yeah for folks to watch were going to show some videotapes of couples that dr. Gottman and his associates have interviewed and were gonna look at specific things they do in fight which frankly I think a lot of people do I think a lot of people in the audience are going to notice things that maybe they do a lot of you at home are going to notice things the first one is criticism take a look at this example was that your way of dealing with everything you dont do it you dont want to do it you dont do it its like you and your chores you want what are you doing to make the chore thing change you know like you want you want that to run differently where they do more chores what kind of planning of you and tiny of you spent fixing it or you just keep telling me you want it to run differently all right so criticism anyone in the audience use criticism in a argument yeah okay over h