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for people who grew up with abuse and neglect there are some common patterns of relationship styles attachment styles specifically and attachment styles are something weamp;#39;ll talk about more in the future here but itamp;#39;s a theory that related to the way that we are raised we end up with sort of one or another styles of attaching to other people kind of based on how it was with our parents and so some people have whatamp;#39;s called an avoidant attachment style and some people have something more like an anxious or fearful style and what you can end up with as a dynamic in a relationship is one person whoamp;#39;s always shutting down and pulling back and one whoamp;#39;s always sort of chasing after them and itamp;#39;s this dynamic that keeps people kind of in a tug of war all the time itamp;#39;s often not a very happy dynamic but itamp;#39;s common and it tends to last a long time because the person whoamp;#39;s anxious is afraid to leave relationships and the on
