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theres been some great work on what behavioral markers predict divorce in couples counseling really solid work okay so heres one predictor when the couple is talking in front of a therapist and one of them or the other or both roll their eyes theres like a 95 percent chance theyre going to be divorced within six months and thats contempt eh but heres heres another cool fact from that research if you have people track the number of positive and negative interactions with their partner you can calculate ratios and then you can see what the ratio is that lends itself to the successful maintenance of a relationship and so you might think well the more positive interactions the better and thats kind of true so if it falls below five positive to one negative the relationship is in danger yeah but if it rises above 11 to 1 the relationship is also in danger well you want support and love and you want most of your interactions to be positive but you want your partner to slap you now an