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we often operate in romantic life under the mistaken view unconsciously imported from law courts and school debating traditions that the person who is right or has the stronger case should legitimately win any argument but this is fundamentally to misunderstand what the point of relationships might be it is not to defeat an opponent there are no prizes for winning other than self-satisfied loneliness the point is more to try to help each other to evolve into the best versions of ourselves theres a kind of argument that erupts when one partner has a largely correct insight into the problems of their partner with a stern masterful and almost gleeful tone they may declare youve been drinking too much or you hoped the conversation at the party or youre always boasting or you dont take enough responsibility or you waste far too much time on line or you never take enough exercise the insight is maybe not wrong that is whats so tricky the critic is correct but they are unable to win bec