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I would say that the best advice would be to meet with that person in person yes at all possible or perhaps set up a Skype call something like that a video call so youre interacting with them so you have the opportunity to understand where theyre coming from would you feel comfortable offering or writing for me a strong letter could you feel like you could write a strong letter for me it might be the way to phrase the question as opposed to would you write me a letter its your job yeah you know theres a big difference between this that the subtle differences in phrasing and then come prepared with a with a folder of information heres heres a current draft of my personal statement heres my resume is there anything else that I could offer you that would support this with this job that youre doing for me this favor that youre doing for me and then if they ask for something else make sure you provide it and then make sure that its clear what your request is that its reasonable a